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Spending time with family brings me joy — Max-Gbinije

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In a three-lettered word, I would simply say it is God, and I am not trying to be fanciful, or as I say jokingly, speak ‘Christenese’. The truth remains that it is God and God alone and I return all the praise to him. It is He who has held me by the hand. It is He who has opened the door. It is He who has put people on my pathway who have who have been concerned about my career growth. I have had people who have sent the elevator back down and leaned back to pull me up in many ways. So, yes, all credits goes to God. The other thing I will have to acknowledge is the support of my husband, particularly, in the last 21 years. He has been my cheerleader. He has been the wind beneath my wings, urging me on to do bigger and better and become the best version of myself. He even has bigger dreams for me than I have for myself. He has also been very supportive by allowing me to travel and stay out of the home when the job requires it. There were times when we didn’t have anyone at home, and my husband, because of his own schedule, was able to take care of the children while I went away. I really have to thank him. I look back now and I see that the support I got from him, apparently, a lot of my friends and peers didn’t have, and I thank God for that.

Also, I will love to acknowledge and applaud the mentors, coaches and sponsors. I have worked with some phenomenal people in the course of my career and have been blessed with great line managers, who were not afraid to let me shine. They were not afraid to give me the opportunity to step up,. They have helped me along the way as well, entrusting responsibility into my hands and encouraging me to push and do more to bring the best out of me. I also have a very strong support network, with a crop of fantastic women – and men, in some cases – family and friends who have been there through thick and thin! My younger sister or sister-in-law used to represent me in school if there were an urgent Parents-Teachers meeting in school, for instance, which we tried to never miss. I had these people to rely on to do what I wasn’t able to do if it came up while I was out of town. I had to juggle work, motherhood, wifehood and being a pastor’s wife smoothly. I remember I would fly in from Lagos, and move straight from the airport to the boys’ school for Visiting Day, and I made every attempt to ensure I never missed that no matter what it took out of me. I would then go home to see my husband and fly back first flight the next day because I had a 7 am or 8 am appointment in Lagos. I truly appreciate the men and women who made that possible for me.

It is interesting you asked that question. Just recently, the Access Bank Group sold the APFC to the First Bank Group. But, while I was there, I had the privilege of being the Chair of the risk management and compliance committee. I was also a member of the board audit committee as an independent director. In these roles, I did what I had to do as the mandate provided, and it was great to be able to contribute our quota and assist Management in the discharge of its duties.I was recently appointed unto the Board of E-Transact PLC, while I also sit on the board of ChamsMobile, a member of the Champs PLC, as an Independent Director and on a couple of other smaller boards.

You’re right (about women not having it easy in the corporate world and or crashing out before getting to the top of the ladder). It has been shown that we have a lot of women at the bottom of the pyramid who start out alongside the men, but as you climb higher to the top, it gets narrower. At the very top, one finds fewer women than men there. That is very true. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. If you have the grit, determination and support system to make it happen, it can become much easier. Some women would say it is the husband; some would say it is their children; other women will say it is their fiancés. These are valid points. Those challenges are real and they exist. But, it is up to the person who wants to make it happen. If you want something badly enough, you go after it. When you want it bad enough like you need air, then, you will go after it with all that you have. You will struggle, break out of that grip and succeed. Find creative ways of making it work. The person who says 11 pm is too late to close should approach their line managers and explain the peculiarities to them. Working from home is a real thing now so no one really has to stay physically at the office. If you have an understanding management or boss, then, you can structure it in such a way that you can leave the office at 5 pm or 6 pm which is the normal closing time and get home to be a mother and wife and get on the laptop if that possibility exists and work from home thereafter. You are doing the work at 11 pm like others but you are in the safety of your home. There must be the right support mechanism to help one do what one needs to do.

One could also move to another job not as demanding as the previous one. It doesn’t mean one has to get out of the corporate sector totally because one wants to be a wife or a mother. One can even begin to work for oneself. It doesn’t mean one is not going to work any harder though, because People have that erroneous belief that working for oneself means choosing one’s time and acting at will. But, that is not always true. People who work for themselves in reality and work harder than when they work as employees of another.

It is up to the woman, if it is what they really want, they certainly can make it work. Nobody deserves to be thrown out of the corporate sector because of work pressure and not having the right support. Be creative about it. For those women who aren’t married yet, I will advise that they begin to determine the kind of life they want to have. Those conversations should be discussed with their spouses to-be ab initio to be sure the values of both parties are congruent and that they are on the same page. Ensure that they will be there to support it, so they don’t tell you in the middle of your journey that they can no longer support your dreams, ambitions or goals.

It doesn’t. It can be very difficult, I must admit. But, if you want it bad enough, you will go out of your way to make it happen. Also, if you have had to leave corporate work at some point because of family pressure, the good news is that the workspace has changed. We are seeing that these women who left the corporate space then at the end semesters of their lives return to the office. We are encouraging organizations to create these opportunities for these ladies. Some of them were stellar workers before they left the corporate space and they were aiming to come back after settling their family life or after raising children. If they still have what it takes to deliver, by all means, please open up the door a bit wider so those kinds of people can come back to work. There are opportunities in other sectors and endless possibilities within and outside Nigeria, too. Women don’t have to think local; they can now think and go ‘glocal’, which is a mixture of global and local.

I did so by staying focused and determined and refusing to waver from my vision. I was determined to get to the top of the ladder. I was also determined to give my 110 per cent at any point in time. So, I will ‘chest’ whatever came up. I came up against the famous ‘Old Boys Club’. I was circumvented in many instances when what would have come to me was given to someone else because he belonged to the OBC. It is a very real thing and I had those moments, but I continued to push on, knowing that whenever one gives 110 per cent, one doesn’t need to know anybody or play to the gallery, one’s day will surely come. It may not happen when you want it to; you may get ‘cheated’ out of what is rightfully yours, but ‘Management’ is always watching. Management might not be your line manager who should be recommending you or the head of the division who struck down your promotion but what is yours will certainly come to you at the right time. God is a fair judge, and whether they like your face or not, what is due to you will come to you eventually.

One’s work will speak for one. Numbers don’t lie. If one is given a target which you meet all the time and the numbers are clear, whether they like you or not; they can only pass you over one time too many, what you deserve will come to you. But, one needs to bend down and stay focused and not stop delivering 110 per cent. One should crown one’s work with excellence. When you are not there, let them feel your absence, knowing that you would have added value.

Another way I conquered this was by receiving help from coaches, sponsors and mentors. I won’t discount their contribution in that respect. Also, when one gets to the point where it is no longer working, there is nothing wrong with moving from where one is to another organisation. I don’t believe in hopping from one organisation to the other all in a bid to climb, but if the environment and people one works with are toxic and one knows that there is no future anymore there, then one can move up and out. One does not always have to remain stuck there. But remember that there will always be challenges in life as a whole, not just in corporate work and family. The Bible says, “The days of a man are few and full of troubles”. You just got to chin up and find ways to go over it, under it, above it, beneath it, or beside it and find a way to overcome that challenge and be that person you have always wanted to be.

Oh wow! All of them were interesting. I learnt from all of them and they have made me a better person today. Which one will I say I loved more? It would be wealth and fiduciary management. This is because, in that role and as the chief executive of Stanbic IBTC Trustees Limited, I got to see how one could make a tangible difference in lives in a short time. That for me was quite interesting and it is something I would like to do again and again. I found it interesting and intriguing. All of the roles have, however, combined to horn my skills and competencies to make me a better management consultant today.

I would say my childhood did not really prepare me for banking, because quite frankly, I didn’t want to be a banker at first. I actually wanted to be a lawyer. I ended up not getting the law degree I applied for. The plan was to do what I got and then change over in the second year. But alas! That took a different turn. I studied the English Language as my first degree. I went on to garner more degrees, and as compensation for not doing law, I got a master’s in International Law and Diplomacy. So, even if the lawyers say that still doesn’t make me their learned colleague – and they’re right – I still have a degree in law – sort off!  My childhood didn’t prepare me for what I wanted to do.

During my National Service year, I got posted to serve at the International Merchant Bank (IMB) and it was an awesome experience. That was when I fell in love with banking. I call it a ‘God-incidence’ and not a coincidence. That must have been the path that was chosen for me by God. I began to grow in banking. I had good teachers and I was always curious about learning and growing. Self-development is key. One should not wait for one’s organisation to train one. One should go ahead and train oneself.  Try out new ways to grow and find avenues for learning. Volunteer and do the work. Put in your 10,000 steps and make growth a daily exercise. Leadership was thrust one me, and that was how I got the training and opportunities, and I kept moving up the ladder.

I found teachers who have been there, done that and were willing to show me the ropes. I asked questions always. There is a popular pidgin saying, “Person wey dey ask question no dey miss road.” Whatever I did not know, I would ask. I was constantly asking the right questions and I was blessed to get help along the way. Mathematics was not my strong point; I never really liked it growing up. However, when I saw that it was required for the job, I had to get the required skills to get better. I also took courses, so I could get better at the job.

Banking is not just all about figures though. My English degree came in handy. For instance, my memos were always one of the best written. (laughs)

It is essentially about managing the clients that we have. We do business development, and show them how they can add value to their portfolios. We are raising a high-performing team that will work together and deliver objectives within timelines, as well as grooming the next generation of people to take over.

In 2019, I quit my job at the bank for personal reasons. I was having shuttled back and forth for work for about seven years. I left the bank at that time for personal reasons because I had to be with family at the time. My older son was about going to the university, and I wanted to spend quality time with him before then. I figured that if I was out of work for one year, I could always go back to work; but that one year with my child cannot be recovered as it came home to me that most children when they go out to university (or other tertiary institutions) never really come back home to live. I have seen examples of it with my friends and family. It was me taking a gap year to spend quality time with my older son before he left for university and it was one of the best years of my life. We had great fun doing things together. I got to know him much more, and I am so glad I made that decision then.

So, in 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic hit and we were all stuck at home. Things were basically slow. The plan had been to go back to work but it was then imperative for me to stay home and spend more time with my family. So, I felt setting up BMG Seven Limited provided me with that opportunity and will give me more time for myself. It hasn’t quite panned out that way because I am now busier than when I was in the bank, but it is a good kind of busy, and I am glad to be doing what I am doing.

I had a great team, and I am grateful for that – me and two fantastic ladies. I joined them and we were able to do what we were meant to do. How would I grade my success? I would say it was excellent, and I say this with every sense of objectivity.  A new business is given one to three years to break even usually but we did it in less than 15 months. We broke even, and that is not a small feat, considering the market we were in and what our product was at the time. We went on to build the brand, and by the time I left eight years later, SITL was one of the foremost trustee companies in Nigeria. It still is and it I believe it was because of the foundation laid and the work we had done at that time. I also identified my successor. There is a popular saying that one has succeeded only when they have been able to raise or identify a worthy successor?

By God’s grace, I was able to identify someone who would take it to the next level. I would rate myself a 9/10, and that is because I believe the biggest room in the world is the room for improvement. My biggest accomplishment would be raising that team of high-performing leaders. When I look at what they are doing now – some in other parts of the world – it is so heartwarming.

We have had people who have left the team to become managing directors in other trustee companies. My biggest joy and pride, more than breaking even in less than 15 months and becoming an IOS certified organzation, never being sanctioned by regulators during my tenure, would be the great people in SITL.

(Laughs) It wasn’t love at first sight. He was not even what I wanted in a man, or so I thought. He was in ministry when I met him. He was a pastor then (now a Reverend) But, before then, I was like, “Marry a pastor? No way!” In my head, because I had read many fairy tale novels growing up like most young girls with our Mills & Boon romance novels, I thought I wanted someone who worked in oil and gas or the construction industry. I didn’t want a stuffy man; I wanted someone who worked on the rig or wore a hard hat to work or dressed informally in jeans to work. Then, I met my husband who I met in church.

He was a branch pastor of The Redeemed Evangelical Mission where I worship while I was at the Headquarters in Lagos. I had dropped off a big sister in her church, which was the branch he pastored. We had a meeting at the headquarters where we were both on the planning committee of the women’s conference. The big sister I had dropped off told me to come to say hello to her pastor. I did that and left. I remember her saying to me later that we both acted strangely on that day. She said her pastor was usually friendly as he would get up and welcome people and even offer them a drink. But, he didn’t do that with me on that day. I am also noted for being friendly but I was also not my usual voluble self, apparently. I guess Cupid was at work! (laughs) . He came to the headquarters after that and we met again. Long story cut short, this is 21 years on, and it has been fantastic all the way despite the inevitable challenges every married couple have from time to time as I won’t claim it’s been unending bliss and hunky dory every inch of the way. We have been blessed to be stewards to two handsome  young men who are my joy to crown it all to God’s glory.

(I do this) by the grace of God and by also prioritizing. I am very careful about writing things down. Confucious the Philiospher notably said “ better the lightest ink than the strongest memory “. I always write things down. My husband teases me, saying, “You are always writing. You are always planning.” But, that is what works for me. To be able to juggle effectively, one has to be orderly, organised and effective. There is always that sense of satisfaction when I can tick off the things I was able to do. It is very reaffirming.

I also distinguish what is urgent and important, and handle it first so something does not “break”. I also delegate a lot when required. There is no shame in delegating. It just has to be done at the right time and entrusted to the right party. There are some things that only I have to do and I do that. This is what I do with my team at BMG Seven Limited, too. What is that thing that someone else can do? I hand it to them. By doing so, I build these persons up to live up to the responsibility. I also accept help when given without being coy or feeling intimidated.

I grew up in the Northern part of Nigeria. My father was a civil servant who got moved around quite a bit so we moved with him often. We were in Kano, Kaduna, Bauchi and then Plateau, where the family has now lived for over 40 years. Jos is home for us. Growing up in Jos was brilliant. Jos was a wonderful place to live. I always dreamt of going back there someday, buying a country home, and just bringing my children up there. Everybody knew everybody else before the 2011 Crisis. Jos was buffeted by that crisis and subsequent ones after. But, Jos was such a great place to live. I remember us sleeping and not locking our doors back then because it was so safe to do so. The weather was fantastic – cold almost all year round. We were each other’s keepers. We had good, clean fun growing up. Jos will always have a special place in my heart. It is called J-Town by Jos lovers. It is a shame that it is not what it used to be but it was a great place to grow up.

A lot of interesting things happened to me growing up in Jos. I could be walking on the road and kick something I thought was a pebble but that would turn out to be a very precious stone. There were little gold nuggets, tanzanite stones and all manners of precious stones literally lying on the roads!! There were a lot of mountains and hills, and it was a very beautiful place for me to have grown up.

I just wear what I am comfortable with depending on the occasion. I can be in an adire dress, turban on my head and wear crocs (slippers/sandals) on my feet!  Just on Saturday at the airport, one young man walked up to me and said it was so cool that I was wearing my special limited edition blingy crocs. I am now a 50-year-old woman but I insist on being decently fashion forward and moving with the times! (laughs). If I am going for a formal occasion, I dress as the occasion demands. When I walk into a room, I want to be appropriately dressed, and tailored to the occasion even as comfort remains a key factor at all times for me…

No, I am not.

I do so by hanging out with family and friends. I belong to this fantastic group of Women Christian leaders in Abuja. They are called the Mothers’ Circle. We hang out from time to time, pray for one another. I also have an accountability group and we meet up often to stay grounded and love on each other in affirming positive ways even as we stay real and authentic. Everybody needs someone who can speak truth to them and advise appropriately on important matters.

I love gospel music. I also salute the Nigerian artiste. I love their rhythm and their beats, and yes, afrobeats has gone to a whole new level and dimension. I don’t listen to the lyrics much as I stridently object to the vulgar lyrics that a lot of them write about but on the whole, We have got shining stars there in that genre of art and its Naija to the World in great ways!

I love to travel and explore new places and make it a point to visit one new country a year. This year, it was Egypt and what an experience that was to go down into the famous Pyramids, take the cruise for a few days, see the tomb of  King Tutankamen, which I read about growing up and do the whole touristy thing. It was an educative experience and I would go back again.

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