I met the husband first. He was recommended (as a good tailor) by the market women that sold some fabrics to me.
Both husband and wife were into dressmaking!
In the course of “getting to know ourselves more”, he introduced me to his wife and even showed me her shop.
The strongest image of them in my mind was the day that I walked into his shop and met husband and wife having a good time (chatty banters and laughter) over two bottles of Sprite and a loaf of bread.
They were so engrossed in themselves that they didn’t immediately notice my presence.
I also remember assuming they had grown-up children, who had probably left home because they seemed to be in their middle ages.
Besides, I had seen a couple of young boys in his shop whom I felt were their children.
What I would later learn (barely a year later and after the marriage had ‘scattered’) was that they didn’t have children and they had been married for about 15 years.
The surprise here was how I learned the marriage was no more!
I had gone for my fabrics and the man excitedly mentioned that he was in my neighbourhood and told me why.
He had just paid the bride price of a lady he described as ‘pino-pinonwa’ (fresh and young). He told me how he was planning to establish a business venture for her.
“What about your wife?” was all I could say!
That’s when he told me that they didn’t live together anymore.
According to him, she moved out of their matrimonial home.
She was having problems with his folks, whom she had always claimed did not like her.
They did not have children, although he tried convincing me that this wasn’t an issue for him.
What I didn’t hear from him was the account of the efforts he made to smoothen the relationship between the wife and his people. I don’t know why men fail at this…a lot!
What I didn’t sense from him was regret or remorse of some sort for a marriage of over 15 years that had failed, in which that woman was probably very instrumental to what he is today…that could even attract a ‘pino-pinonwa’.
What I sensed in his body language was excitement!
He couldn’t stop talking about ‘pino-pinonwa’ and his economic plans for her.
It’s almost like the end of that marriage was a relief to him.
When I ran into his ex-wife at the market, I couldn’t get myself to raise the matter with her. She must still be hurting.
The woman was even spotting a shaved head.
I am not in the best position to speak authoritatively on their matter but the excitement of a new catch that was written all over him is the same with most men.
And it’s the same thing that never enables a sober reflection in them until their fingers have been seared again.
I told a man who complained (recently) about his many unpleasant experiences with ladies that the experiences were recurring not because women were bad but because he had been going for the ones that were wrong for him.
When it comes to matters of the heart, most men go for their fantasy.
The reality that is best suited for their need is hardly given priority until life happens.
I had so much to say to my tailor-friend but it was pointless.
At this point, the only thing that matters to the average man is the young body that receives him on the bed.
I sincerely hope that when life knocks on his door, ‘pino-pinonwa’ will be standing by his side.
A lot of men don’t factor in the other side of life when they zoom off with these excitements!
